MACHETAZO from Spain sent me an e-mail a couple of weeks ago and threatened to kill me, if I don’t support them by an interview (no joke). Under these circumstances it is a great honor for me to introduce this magnificent, outstanding, brilliant and independent old school grind band to you. Drummer Dopi (Spain’s longest cock) typed this interview … the answers as well as the questions …
Dopi, you old Spanish fly, what’s new on Madrid’s cemetary? I heard some rumors that your rehearsal room is located in a crypt and that the three of you share your grandma’s grave in order to live close to the rehearsal room. Supposedly you have been living that way ever since you formed the band in 1994. Is it right that your first album was produced in a crematory in Madrid and that the producer was burnt right after the recordings?
Hello freak,first of all let me tell you that we're not in Madrid,we live
in La Coruña,north of Spain.
But yeah you're right in the rest of the question,we practise and bad-live
in the local cemetery and my grandma crypt is used like WC now!!! Since the
cremation of our producer we use to record in an
autopsy gabinet,it's easier this way cos' we preffer the smell of blood to
the stench of burning flesh,skin and bones,you know!!!
How did you guys meet anyway? I think even in Madrid it is pretty difficult to find members for this kind of sicko band. Have any of you played in other bands before MACHETAZO? What does MACHETAZO mean anyway, can you translate it?
Hey fuck Madrid man,hahaha!!! I passed lot of years besides stupid assholes
playing in Machetazo,but since some years the things are a lot better cos'
right now with Rober and Cadaver I'm the happiest freak of the cemetary and the band is passing the best times in his life.
Yeah I played in a lot of bands previously but most of them were just
crap,nothing serious really.
Machetazo is the hit of a machete,you know a machete? It's that kind of long
big knife to use where you're in the jungle cutting trees or chopping
Your music really is a tribute to those old school grind bands of the end of the 80’s. I’ll just name of few, such as TERRORIZER, REPULSION, EXTREME NOISE TERROR, MACABRE, NAPALM DEATH, IMPETIGO, UNSEEN TERROR, CARCASS, DOOM, ASSÜCK and so on. When back then you heard REPULSION for the first time, did you know right away that some day you would form a band dedicated to the same musical style? Do you even want to sound like one of those old school bands? Maybe I’m wrong about that or maybe by now I’m deaf cause of permanently listening to BEHERIT (haha)!
I've tried to play this kind of shit since the very beginning but it was
impossible 'til I formed Machetazo in 1994,then after years and years
dealing with the wrong members Machetazo has the best line up ever now. All
those bands you name are our biggest influence,and of course don't forget
about Autopsy,Nihilist,Massacre,Carnage...We try to keep the old flame
alive,we record our shit in the raw,never abusing of computer tricks and
that kind of stupid trendy trash everybody uses to get actually,fuckin hate
99% of the actual recordings cos' of their modern productions,new school
grindcore is just shit...fuck yeah Beherit knew how to sound,that's extreme
Aside from that, I heard that all of you are enthusiastic nudists and are always running around naked in Madrid’s alleys. Is that right? I’d rather suspect that you run around naked cause you put all of your money into the band and can’t afford any clothes. After all you do release a lot of stuff, by now I have almost as many EP’s from you as I have from NUNSLAUGHTER (haha). How do you finance all this shit?
Well...fuck Madrid again,haha!!! We don't go naked man,by the way we have
these human skin dresses that keep us warm here in the north,Ed Gein was a
good master about doing our own clothes you know! Well talking seriously we
really spent a lot of money in recording studio and gear of course,we get
some money from labels and record sales but anyway it's never enough to pay
all the shit,also redord sales have been down since all that fuckin internet
shit,the kids download records never buy them. I udnerstand the people who
download expensive records or "big and famous" bands,but can't undertstand
how can they download our shit cos' it's cheap and the only way to support
A short time ago you have recorded another EP together with GENERAL SURGERY from Sweden, which was then released by Johann Wallin’s (REPUGNANT (RIP), SCURVY, GENERAL SURGERY) label Escorbuto Recordings. I don’t have that one yet. Which songs did you put on it? Maybe you can convince me to buy it, come on, imagine you professionally work as an insurance salesman, so now show me your skills!
It was great to do a split with General Surgery cos' they rule,also work
with Johan was a good experience too! We love that little motherfucker piece
of plastic,it has an amazing cover made by Eric Horrorval(Hells Headbangers
recs),an artist who worked with bands like Mortician among others.
We put three songs on that split,"Caverna de antropofagos","Luto" and "El
que susurra en la oscuridad",three twisted and weird tunes about
antropophagus hunger,grief and Lovecraft universe of cosmic sickness.
Haven't you got one yet? Well I'll send you one copy together with our new
shit as soon as I can,don't worry!
What are your “normal” jobs anyway?
Trash,shit,crap,piss,vomit,etc...you can find us here in any shitty job
trying to get money enough for our vices and addictions.
In your last mail you wrote that Chris Reifert contributed some vocal parts to the new album. Fuck man, Chris Reifert, have you even realized that there are some vocals by Chris Reifert on your CD? I am the kind of guy who glorifies musicians, believe me if the guy wasn’t so filthy I’d fuck him for making the greatest records in the world (haha)!!
Oh yes I still can't believe Chris appears in the album but it's true! He
did the lyrics and vocals for the song "Niebla funebre". Chris has been
always a big supporter and Machetazo friend,he did our logo years ago
too,also it's cool to keep in touch with a guy who still writes letters and
fuck off email,ha!
No doubt about that,I won't fuck him but he recorded some classics thru the
years,have you heard the new Abscess album "Damned and mummified"???
Crushing stuff!!!!!! Eat My Fuk rules too.
How did things get started with Chris? Is this contact based on the split-EP with ABSCESS? Did you send him a master tape to the USA and he then put his vocals on it or how did it work?
We're penpals and traders since 1998 or so,we decided to do a split when we
saw we were in the same boat,I mean the most damned bands in this stinky
planet,ha! We sent him a CDr with the instrumental track,then he was into
Eric Cutler's home studio,wrote the lyrics and burnt his throat
for us,just awesome.
Allright, let’s change the subject! What’s it like when MACHETAZO play live? Unfortunately I’ve never seen you on stage before. When will you come to good old Germany? Have you been here before?
Machetazo live is like a pile of rotten pigs fuckin loudly in your
face,hope to go to Germany this year cos' the Giants Of Grind Fest and NWR
Fest wanna us there so we'll try to fly there,play our set and of course
have fun drinking your amazing beer! Hope to see you there bro and desecrate
some graves together!!! How are the german crypts? Wet? Smelly? I'm
Do you still play live anyway? I saw on your homepage that you have exceeded the age of 30, that’s about the time when physical decay begins.
Yeah I'm 31 but still with the bollocks enough to drum and sing at the same
time,no problem man.
My decay is mostly psychologic cos' I'm more demented every year!!! In fact
we used to be in a mental hospital before the actual cemetary crypts,yeah I
remember there was the place where we
met Johan Wallin and Billy Nocera among others,maybe you were there too??? I
remember something about a german freak hidden in the underfloor cos' he had
somekind of necromania addiction!!!!!!
A guy called Nor Prego is responsible for some of your illustrations. Is he a friend of yours? That guy seems to be pretty talented, has he worked for other bands as well? Is his name really Nor Prego? There are some funny names amongst the Spanish people, you never know whether it’s a pseudonym or a real name?
I'm right now at Nor's place abusing of his computer as usual so he will
answer this question personally....
Nor talks:-Hello I'm Nor,that's my real name and I would like to say I'm not
friend of these assholes
named Machetazo,I just work for them cos' they give me drugs and prostitutes
as payment for my beutiful,awesome,high quality artwork. Yes I have worked
too for bands like Fermento,WTN,Brody's
Militia...I will do too the next Iron Maiden and Judas Priest covers,believe
it or not.
Okay Dopi, it’s midnight already and my alarm clock will wake me in five hours. You can go on by yourself now, I’m sick of this shit. Ask yourself some questions and answer them, I don’t care … I’m gonna quit with the fucking fanzine anyway. But by the way just got a recipe from a girlfriend for a Drink which as called MACHETAZO ( no Joke) try it out: 1oz. Captain Morgan Original Spiced Rum, 1 oz. Kahlua Coffee Liqueur ,1 bottle Guinness. CHEERS
Hey I know that drink!!!! Some fans from Barcelona gave us a bottle of that shit in a bottle with our logo printed on it,no joke man! I still have the bottle here,it's fuckin hard to drink...it just make holes in the stomach I think. Well I don't wanna to ask any shit to myself cos' I'm sick
of interviews too,hahahaha!!!!!! Fuck yeah this was a good one and no boring but it's time to roll a joint and shut up the computer, gory greetings to all the freaks crazy enough to enjoy
Machetazo there in Germany,hope to see you all from some dirty stage soon!!!
Watch out everybody cos' our new album will make you shit blood into your
pants and gasp for air from your little coffins! Feel free to contact me for
merchandising,trading,fuckin underground communication! Cheers and take care
of your ass!